Author: Frederic Friedel
Date: 02:19:59 05/24/00
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On May 23, 2000 at 17:56:31, Djordje Vidanovic wrote: >On May 23, 2000 at 17:36:24, Frederic Friedel wrote: > >>Now this one I do not catch. All kinds of vague associations, but nothing >>certain. But perhaps we should continue this tête-à-tête by email, before we get >>unceremoniously kicked out of this forum. >> >>By the way tell your wife that I was a fair off-spin bowler on the college team, >>bur a rot ton batsman -- frightened stiff of large homicidal dark-skinned fast >>bowlers. I fielded at silly mid-on, since the captain figured if anyone was >>going to get killed it might as well be me. It was a fairly ignominious sporting >>career... > >No, we won't get kicked out of the forum... not now when it's getting >interesting... Anyway, the mentioned Eric Idle sketch centres around the nudge >nudge kind of thing and the wifey is supposed to be sporty, she kind of likes >cricket among other things. The hubby eventually gets the idea after a lot of >nudge nudge, wink wink stuff. Yes, squire :-) Oh yass, I forgot that bit. What a SHAME. You certainly win this round, Gunga Din. I'm putting 100 points on your account. >Nice to hear that you actually played the game, nice to hear about your fair >batsmanship. Cricket was not my cup of tea. Preferred football, the one played >with shoulder pads on... > Not a fair batsman -- my hands slipped when I was typing, it was supposed to read "but a rotten batsman". I always ended up last man in, with the captain saying: "now don't do anything, just _defend_, Johnny will score the seven runs we need to win the match!" (Johnny being the second man in, two runs short of his century). Then this seven-foot tall West Indian bloke would walk back three quarters of a mile, paw the ground, jump into the air with a heart-rending yell, do the world's fiercest run-up and hurl the ball (steel sphere covered with hard red leather) at close to the speed of sound in my direction. I'd be standing there with my eyes tightly closed, praying to the gods I normally reject. If the ball touched my bat someone would catch me, if it touched the stumps they would disintegrate into a cloud of splinters, and if it touched me then it was off to hospital to try and sew the limbs back on. "Couldn't you block just one ball?" Johnny would yell as they carried me off on the stretcher. That's when I took up chess. Once someone hurled a pawn at me. Didn't hurt a bit. For the record here's the Python sketch. NOW we get kicked out. ----------------------------- Nudge, Nudge Man: Evening, squire! Man with hat: Good evening. Man: Is your...is your wife a goer? Eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge! Know what I mean? Say no more! Man with hat: I-I...I beg your pardon? Man: Your...your wife. Does she go,eh? Does she go, eh? Eh? Man with hat: Huh, sometimes she has to go, yes. Man: I bet she does! I bet she does! Say no more! Say no more! Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge! Man with hat: I'm afraid I don't quite follow you... Man: Oh, "follow me, follow me"? That's good, that's very good! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat! Man with hat: Are...are you selling something? Man: "Selling, selling"...very good indeed! You're wicked, you are, eh? Wicked, eh? Ho-ho-ho! Whoa! Wicked! Say no more! Man with hat: Huhuh? Man: Whoa! So your wife's interested in...in sport? Eh? Man with hat: Ah, she likes sport, yes. Man: I bet she does! I bet she does! Man with hat: As a matter of fact, she's very fond of cricket. Man: She likes "games", eh? Likes "games"? Knew she would, she's been around a bit, eh? She's been around? Man with hat: Well, she has travelled, yes. She's from Glendale. Man: Say no more! Glendale, squire? Say no more! Say no more! Say no more! Say no more! Man with hat: Well... Man: Whoa! Is your...is your Glendale wife interested in...photography? Eh? Eh? Eh? Man with hat: Photography? Man: "Photographs, eh?" he asked him knowingly! Man with hat: Photography? Man: Snap, snap, grin, grin, wing, wing, nudge, nudge, say no more! Man with hat: Sort of...holiday snaps, eh? Man: They could be, they could be taken on holiday, you know! Swimming costumes, candid...you know, "candid" photography? Man with hat: No, we don't have a camera! Man: Ah. Still, whoahaah! Eh? Whoahaah! Eh? Whoahaah! Eh? Whoahaahaha! Huhuh! Man with hat: Look, are you insinuating something? Man: Oh, no, no, no...yes! Man with hat: Well? Man: Why, I mean, you're a man of the world, squire, you know...you're...you've been around, you know? Man with hat: What do you mean? Man: Well, I mean, like, you've...you know, you...like...you've done it, you know...you've slept...with a lady? Man with hat: Yes. Man: What's it like?
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