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Subject: Re: The kinds of questions that NOBODY here has to answer....

Author: Jason Williamson

Date: 19:19:11 12/11/00

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On December 11, 2000 at 21:45:28, John Merlino wrote:

>Thankfully, everybody at this website is (relatively) technologically savvy.
>However, some of the e-mails that the Chessmaster team gets from VERY typical
>users are quite amusing, so I thought I'd share some of them with you.
>
>Enjoy!
>
>-------------
>I recently purchased the Chessmaster 7000 game. While playing a few
>games in the game room, I would almost have my opponent beat when the
>game would declare a stalemate. I had most of my pcs. on the board while
>my opponent was down to a few pawns and king. I was clearly on my way to
>victory before game was stopped. Why is this? Game not worth playing
>with this stalemate feature. Please help.
>-------------
>I've got a couple of questions pertaining to your Chessmaster 5500. It is a
>dull-witted Chess"master" indeed who sacrifices his own Queen each & every
>opportunity of every scenario just to get the opponent's queen. Secondly,
>there does not seem to be a way to toggle off the "en passant" maneuver --
>which is a game option. Is there any way to toggle off the "en passant"
>option?
>-------------
>And... my favorite....
>
>THE TRUE CHESS MASTERS ARE MOORS AND THEY INTRODUCED THE GAME WHEN THEY CAME
>INTO EUROPE.  WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS PICTURE OF THIS HOMELESS LOOKING MAN ON
>THE COVER.  IT'S JUST LIKE LOOKING AT A BOX OF KING VITAMIN CEREAL --- DOES
>HE LOOK HEALTHY?  AND WHAT MAKES THIS MAN LOOK LIKE A CHESS MASTER WHEN HE'S
>NOT EVEN  WORTHY OF THE TITLE.  PEACE & MAY THE TRUE FATHER OF CREATION FIND
>YOU WORTHY OF A BLESSING.
>
>The first two are VERY common ones, and some of these accuse the program of
>cheating!
>
>Hope I made a few of you laugh....
>
>jm

Actually, more of these would certainly lighten up the place.  :)


Caller:  I just bought your damn computer, and now it won't start.

Techie:  Ok sir, the first thing I need you to do is check to make sure that the
black wire that goes into the wall is conected to the back of your computer.

Caller:  Do you think I am stupid?  Of course I pluged it in.  I have never been
so insulted in my life.  I call for tech support and this ... ooh sorry.
<click>

JW



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