Author: Colin Frayn
Date: 09:35:57 11/15/01
Go up one level in this thread
On November 15, 2001 at 12:06:24, Slater Wold wrote: >I heard it through the grapevine that Microsoft is working on a chess program. >I was curious on what the thoughts of this forum is, on such an idea. I know >most people here don't like Microsoft, but please keep in mind I am asking for >your input on a Microsoft chess program, not their business ethics. I believe the following example perfectly illustrates my feelings; "Thanks for installing MicrosoftChess(TM) v1.1. In order for the changes to take effect, you must now restart your system three times, stand on your head whilst reciting a variety of Shapesperian sonnets, and devour five grapefruit using only a single chopstick." <click> <Please wait while Microsoft Windows (TM) restarts your computer> <"Shall I compare you to a Summer's day?"... etc...> <pause...> <chomp> <click> <reboot> <windows screen appears> <double click on icon> :Begin MicrosoftChess v1.1 :Loading data files ... OK :Loading opening book ... OK :Welcome to MicrosoftChess! : > board :Board display has been disabled in this release of MicrosoftChess. :Please upgrade MicrosoftChess to version 1.1-Ultra to benefit :from a whole host of upgrade features such as board display, :hashtables and en-passant capture. : > book off :Opening book disabled : > go : :Beginning search : :2 11 2 684 e4 e5 :3 12 21 1634 e4 e5 Nf3 :4 9 65 8191 e4 e5 Nf3 Nc6 :5 7 101 23065 e4 e5 Nf3 Nc6 Bxh6 :6 8 154 38223 e4 e5 Nf3 Nc6 Bxh6 0-0-0 :6 !! 188 48253 h3!! :6 M9 247 57264 h3 a6 e4 Kg8 Qxg7 0-0-0 0-0 exd5 Rxa6# :Checkmate found! :Total nodes searched : 1,042,891 :Total Search Time : 0.51s :NPS : 23,814,092 Nodes/sec : > score :FEN Position rnbqkbnr/pppppppp/8/8/8/8/PPPPPPPP/RNBQKBNR w KQkq - :Black is ahead by 74 centipawns : > d2d4 :Illegal move :MicrosoftChess only supports chess openings which comply with :Microsoft Standard #MS76145. Please replace your opening :theory and start again. : > g1f3 :Illegal move. Knights may only move one square forwards. : > e2e4 : My move is e7e4 : >That's an illegal move :MicrosoftChess doesn't understand "That's an illegal move" :MicrosoftChess will now open ChessHelper(TM) to diagnose your problem. <pause> :"Hi! I'm Percy the Pawn, and I'm here to diagnose your chess problems!" :"Please select an option:" :(1) Having difficulty installing MicrosoftChess :(2) Learning to play chess :(3) My sound drivers don't work :(4) Having trouble configuring NetChess(TM) protocol :(5) Installing different chess wizards :(6) Fundamentally stupid :Please select : >quit : :Illegal option. Please select 6; <CTRL-C> :"Welcome back to MicrosoftChess. I'm Percy the Pawn, your friendly :chess helper. I'm here to help you improve your playing style." : :"I see you're stuck figuring out a move. May I suggest a move?" : > no :"Gee! Let me suggest a move for you then." :"Well, I suggest using the Gates opening. Try moving your pawn on b2 : forward three spaces. Microsoft chess will now highlight the square : 'b2' for you." : >b2b5 :Illegal move :Illegal move :Illegal move :illegasdg amnsr :asrin rsnrsnr :ssadsdss :7834 AB7D 850H 25C1 <MicrosoftChess has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down> <Please wait while Microsoft Windows (TM) restarts your computer> <pause.....> <click> <darkness> Enough said, I think. Cheers, Col
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