Author: Sergei Smith
Date: 12:29:06 11/15/01
Go up one level in this thread
On November 15, 2001 at 12:35:57, Colin Frayn wrote: >On November 15, 2001 at 12:06:24, Slater Wold wrote: > >>I heard it through the grapevine that Microsoft is working on a chess program. > >>I was curious on what the thoughts of this forum is, on such an idea. I know >>most people here don't like Microsoft, but please keep in mind I am asking for >>your input on a Microsoft chess program, not their business ethics. > >I believe the following example perfectly illustrates my feelings; > >"Thanks for installing MicrosoftChess(TM) v1.1. In order for the changes to >take effect, you must now restart your system three times, stand on your head >whilst reciting a variety of Shapesperian sonnets, and devour five grapefruit >using only a single chopstick." > ><click> ><Please wait while Microsoft Windows (TM) restarts your computer> ><"Shall I compare you to a Summer's day?"... etc...> ><pause...> ><chomp> ><click> > ><reboot> ><windows screen appears> ><double click on icon> > >:Begin MicrosoftChess v1.1 >:Loading data files ... OK >:Loading opening book ... OK >:Welcome to MicrosoftChess! >: >> board >:Board display has been disabled in this release of MicrosoftChess. >:Please upgrade MicrosoftChess to version 1.1-Ultra to benefit >:from a whole host of upgrade features such as board display, >:hashtables and en-passant capture. >: >> book off >:Opening book disabled >: >> go >: >:Beginning search >: >:2 11 2 684 e4 e5 >:3 12 21 1634 e4 e5 Nf3 >:4 9 65 8191 e4 e5 Nf3 Nc6 >:5 7 101 23065 e4 e5 Nf3 Nc6 Bxh6 >:6 8 154 38223 e4 e5 Nf3 Nc6 Bxh6 0-0-0 >:6 !! 188 48253 h3!! >:6 M9 247 57264 h3 a6 e4 Kg8 Qxg7 0-0-0 0-0 exd5 Rxa6# >:Checkmate found! >:Total nodes searched : 1,042,891 >:Total Search Time : 0.51s >:NPS : 23,814,092 Nodes/sec >: >> score >:FEN Position rnbqkbnr/pppppppp/8/8/8/8/PPPPPPPP/RNBQKBNR w KQkq - >:Black is ahead by 74 centipawns >: >> d2d4 >:Illegal move >:MicrosoftChess only supports chess openings which comply with >:Microsoft Standard #MS76145. Please replace your opening >:theory and start again. >: >> g1f3 >:Illegal move. Knights may only move one square forwards. >: >> e2e4 >: My move is e7e4 >: >>That's an illegal move >:MicrosoftChess doesn't understand "That's an illegal move" >:MicrosoftChess will now open ChessHelper(TM) to diagnose your problem. > ><pause> > >:"Hi! I'm Percy the Pawn, and I'm here to diagnose your chess problems!" >:"Please select an option:" >:(1) Having difficulty installing MicrosoftChess >:(2) Learning to play chess >:(3) My sound drivers don't work >:(4) Having trouble configuring NetChess(TM) protocol >:(5) Installing different chess wizards >:(6) Fundamentally stupid >:Please select >: >>quit >: >:Illegal option. Please select 6; > ><CTRL-C> > >:"Welcome back to MicrosoftChess. I'm Percy the Pawn, your friendly >:chess helper. I'm here to help you improve your playing style." >: >:"I see you're stuck figuring out a move. May I suggest a move?" >: >> no >:"Gee! Let me suggest a move for you then." >:"Well, I suggest using the Gates opening. Try moving your pawn on b2 >: forward three spaces. Microsoft chess will now highlight the square >: 'b2' for you." >: >>b2b5 >:Illegal move >:Illegal move >:Illegal move >:illegasdg amnsr >:asrin rsnrsnr >:ssadsdss >:7834 AB7D 850H 25C1 > ><MicrosoftChess has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down> ><Please wait while Microsoft Windows (TM) restarts your computer> ><pause.....> ><click> ><darkness> > > > >Enough said, I think. > >Cheers, >Col Congratulations, you successfully downloaded MSChess What do you want to try to do now ? * To unzip the zip file please order your unzip code * To extract the setup files please order your extract code * To run Setup please order your Setup code * To start MSChess please order your activation code Unfortunately, there was a problem : Error code #56325698745632 So please upgrade to the next version by entering your credit card number. What do you want to try to do now ? * Defragment your HD * Reinstall Windows * Shut down your PC and reinstall Windows tomorrow [] Reboot with the current intallation (Option diabled for computer users)
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