Author: Miguel A. Ballicora
Date: 12:31:29 11/15/01
Go up one level in this thread
On November 15, 2001 at 12:45:24, Slater Wold wrote: >On November 15, 2001 at 12:35:57, Colin Frayn wrote: > >>On November 15, 2001 at 12:06:24, Slater Wold wrote: >> >>>I heard it through the grapevine that Microsoft is working on a chess program. >> >>>I was curious on what the thoughts of this forum is, on such an idea. I know >>>most people here don't like Microsoft, but please keep in mind I am asking for >>>your input on a Microsoft chess program, not their business ethics. >> >>I believe the following example perfectly illustrates my feelings; >> >>"Thanks for installing MicrosoftChess(TM) v1.1. In order for the changes to >>take effect, you must now restart your system three times, stand on your head >>whilst reciting a variety of Shapesperian sonnets, and devour five grapefruit >>using only a single chopstick." >> >><click> >><Please wait while Microsoft Windows (TM) restarts your computer> >><"Shall I compare you to a Summer's day?"... etc...> >><pause...> >><chomp> >><click> >> >><reboot> >><windows screen appears> >><double click on icon> >> >>:Begin MicrosoftChess v1.1 >>:Loading data files ... OK >>:Loading opening book ... OK >>:Welcome to MicrosoftChess! >>: >>> board >>:Board display has been disabled in this release of MicrosoftChess. >>:Please upgrade MicrosoftChess to version 1.1-Ultra to benefit >>:from a whole host of upgrade features such as board display, >>:hashtables and en-passant capture. >>: >>> book off >>:Opening book disabled >>: >>> go >>: >>:Beginning search >>: >>:2 11 2 684 e4 e5 >>:3 12 21 1634 e4 e5 Nf3 >>:4 9 65 8191 e4 e5 Nf3 Nc6 >>:5 7 101 23065 e4 e5 Nf3 Nc6 Bxh6 >>:6 8 154 38223 e4 e5 Nf3 Nc6 Bxh6 0-0-0 >>:6 !! 188 48253 h3!! >>:6 M9 247 57264 h3 a6 e4 Kg8 Qxg7 0-0-0 0-0 exd5 Rxa6# >>:Checkmate found! >>:Total nodes searched : 1,042,891 >>:Total Search Time : 0.51s >>:NPS : 23,814,092 Nodes/sec >>: >>> score >>:FEN Position rnbqkbnr/pppppppp/8/8/8/8/PPPPPPPP/RNBQKBNR w KQkq - >>:Black is ahead by 74 centipawns >>: >>> d2d4 >>:Illegal move >>:MicrosoftChess only supports chess openings which comply with >>:Microsoft Standard #MS76145. Please replace your opening >>:theory and start again. >>: >>> g1f3 >>:Illegal move. Knights may only move one square forwards. >>: >>> e2e4 >>: My move is e7e4 >>: >>>That's an illegal move >>:MicrosoftChess doesn't understand "That's an illegal move" >>:MicrosoftChess will now open ChessHelper(TM) to diagnose your problem. >> >><pause> >> >>:"Hi! I'm Percy the Pawn, and I'm here to diagnose your chess problems!" >>:"Please select an option:" >>:(1) Having difficulty installing MicrosoftChess >>:(2) Learning to play chess >>:(3) My sound drivers don't work >>:(4) Having trouble configuring NetChess(TM) protocol >>:(5) Installing different chess wizards >>:(6) Fundamentally stupid >>:Please select >>: >>>quit >>: >>:Illegal option. Please select 6; >> >><CTRL-C> >> >>:"Welcome back to MicrosoftChess. I'm Percy the Pawn, your friendly >>:chess helper. I'm here to help you improve your playing style." >>: >>:"I see you're stuck figuring out a move. May I suggest a move?" >>: >>> no >>:"Gee! Let me suggest a move for you then." >>:"Well, I suggest using the Gates opening. Try moving your pawn on b2 >>: forward three spaces. Microsoft chess will now highlight the square >>: 'b2' for you." >>: >>>b2b5 >>:Illegal move >>:Illegal move >>:Illegal move >>:illegasdg amnsr >>:asrin rsnrsnr >>:ssadsdss >>:7834 AB7D 850H 25C1 >> >><MicrosoftChess has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down> >><Please wait while Microsoft Windows (TM) restarts your computer> >><pause.....> >><click> >><darkness> >> >> >> >>Enough said, I think. >> >>Cheers, >>Col > >Just the fact that you took that much time to write all that, shows me you have >problems. c'mon! where did your sense of humor go? Miguel > >Anyone who has EVER played a Microsoft game, knows they are not like this. >Obviously you have not. I recommend checking out "Flight Simulator".
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