Author: Ian Aston
Date: 14:37:20 11/15/01
Go up one level in this thread
On November 15, 2001 at 15:29:06, Sergei Smith wrote: >On November 15, 2001 at 12:35:57, Colin Frayn wrote: > >>On November 15, 2001 at 12:06:24, Slater Wold wrote: >> >>>I heard it through the grapevine that Microsoft is working on a chess program. >> >>>I was curious on what the thoughts of this forum is, on such an idea. I know >>>most people here don't like Microsoft, but please keep in mind I am asking for >>>your input on a Microsoft chess program, not their business ethics. >> >>I believe the following example perfectly illustrates my feelings; >> >>"Thanks for installing MicrosoftChess(TM) v1.1. In order for the changes to >>take effect, you must now restart your system three times, stand on your head >>whilst reciting a variety of Shapesperian sonnets, and devour five grapefruit >>using only a single chopstick." >> >><click> >><Please wait while Microsoft Windows (TM) restarts your computer> >><"Shall I compare you to a Summer's day?"... etc...> >><pause...> >><chomp> >><click> >> >><reboot> >><windows screen appears> >><double click on icon> >> >>:Begin MicrosoftChess v1.1 >>:Loading data files ... OK >>:Loading opening book ... OK >>:Welcome to MicrosoftChess! >>: >>> board >>:Board display has been disabled in this release of MicrosoftChess. >>:Please upgrade MicrosoftChess to version 1.1-Ultra to benefit >>:from a whole host of upgrade features such as board display, >>:hashtables and en-passant capture. >>: >>> book off >>:Opening book disabled >>: >>> go >>: >>:Beginning search >>: >>:2 11 2 684 e4 e5 >>:3 12 21 1634 e4 e5 Nf3 >>:4 9 65 8191 e4 e5 Nf3 Nc6 >>:5 7 101 23065 e4 e5 Nf3 Nc6 Bxh6 >>:6 8 154 38223 e4 e5 Nf3 Nc6 Bxh6 0-0-0 >>:6 !! 188 48253 h3!! >>:6 M9 247 57264 h3 a6 e4 Kg8 Qxg7 0-0-0 0-0 exd5 Rxa6# >>:Checkmate found! >>:Total nodes searched : 1,042,891 >>:Total Search Time : 0.51s >>:NPS : 23,814,092 Nodes/sec >>: >>> score >>:FEN Position rnbqkbnr/pppppppp/8/8/8/8/PPPPPPPP/RNBQKBNR w KQkq - >>:Black is ahead by 74 centipawns >>: >>> d2d4 >>:Illegal move >>:MicrosoftChess only supports chess openings which comply with >>:Microsoft Standard #MS76145. Please replace your opening >>:theory and start again. >>: >>> g1f3 >>:Illegal move. Knights may only move one square forwards. >>: >>> e2e4 >>: My move is e7e4 >>: >>>That's an illegal move >>:MicrosoftChess doesn't understand "That's an illegal move" >>:MicrosoftChess will now open ChessHelper(TM) to diagnose your problem. >> >><pause> >> >>:"Hi! I'm Percy the Pawn, and I'm here to diagnose your chess problems!" >>:"Please select an option:" >>:(1) Having difficulty installing MicrosoftChess >>:(2) Learning to play chess >>:(3) My sound drivers don't work >>:(4) Having trouble configuring NetChess(TM) protocol >>:(5) Installing different chess wizards >>:(6) Fundamentally stupid >>:Please select >>: >>>quit >>: >>:Illegal option. Please select 6; >> >><CTRL-C> >> >>:"Welcome back to MicrosoftChess. I'm Percy the Pawn, your friendly >>:chess helper. I'm here to help you improve your playing style." >>: >>:"I see you're stuck figuring out a move. May I suggest a move?" >>: >>> no >>:"Gee! Let me suggest a move for you then." >>:"Well, I suggest using the Gates opening. Try moving your pawn on b2 >>: forward three spaces. Microsoft chess will now highlight the square >>: 'b2' for you." >>: >>>b2b5 >>:Illegal move >>:Illegal move >>:Illegal move >>:illegasdg amnsr >>:asrin rsnrsnr >>:ssadsdss >>:7834 AB7D 850H 25C1 >> >><MicrosoftChess has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down> >><Please wait while Microsoft Windows (TM) restarts your computer> >><pause.....> >><click> >><darkness> >> >> >> >>Enough said, I think. >> >>Cheers, >>Col > > >Congratulations, you successfully downloaded MSChess >What do you want to try to do now ? >* To unzip the zip file please order your unzip code >* To extract the setup files please order your extract code >* To run Setup please order your Setup code >* To start MSChess please order your activation code >Unfortunately, there was a problem : Error code #56325698745632 >So please upgrade to the next version by entering your credit card number. > >What do you want to try to do now ? >* Defragment your HD >* Reinstall Windows >* Shut down your PC and reinstall Windows tomorrow >[] Reboot with the current intallation (Option diabled for computer users) We take this opportunity to remind you that you have one month to ring Microsoft and quote your 528 digit registration code. We provide very good piped music and waiting time is down to less than 3 hours. If you fail to register your machine will cease to operate and may spontaneously combust. Have a nice day.
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