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Subject: The Universal Disagreement Checklist

Author: Mike S.

Date: 06:12:51 09/26/02


I'd like to bring to you a translation of what I found to be one of the funniest
computerchess postings ever. The main part is (c) by CCC member Volker Pittlik
(thx Volker!) and appeared on the CSS message board today; I did some additions
at the end of the list.

--------------------------------
Universal Disagreement Checklist
--------------------------------

(please check your counterarguments)

Your results are invalid, because:

[ ] the engines you used are unsuitable for that purpose
[ ] you didn't play enough games
[ ] the time control was too short
[ ] the hash size was set too small
[ ] the hash size was set too large
[ ] other settings were wrong
[ ] learning was off
[ ] learning was on
[ ] you didn't use tablebases
[ ] you used only 4-piece tablebases
[ ] you included 5-piece tbs., but in the same directory
[ ] you included 6-piece tbs.: not every engine can use them
[ ] it wasn't equal hardware
[ ] you switched hardware, but in the wrong moment
[ ] it was full moon
[ ] you didn't care for good karma
[ ] you didn't memorize all my 60 memorable postings
[ ] you didn't watch the game live, to check for errors
[ ] you watches the games live, thus influencing the results
[ ] your results are pure coincidence
[ ] your hardware is outdated
[ ] your hardware is all new, so it's not clear that it's working properly
[ ] your CPU type is bad for one of the engines
[ ] your RAM type is a disadvantage for no. 3
[ ] your cat/dog/wife accessed your computer while you wasn't there
[ ] I simply don't like your results and therefore I think the opposite it true
[ ] you didn't use the engine-specific opening books as it's recommended
[ ] you used the engine-specific books, which leads to completely distorted
results
[ ] you used the *** set of opening positions, which favour *** as we all know
[ ] of course you should have used a neutral set of opening positions
[ ] matches with less than 1 gigabyte hash just aren't state-of-the-art anymore
[ ] it's inacceptable that the bios settings are not documented
[ ] you removed/did not remove/didn't even search for doubles
[ ] you used the autoplayer connection, which is unreliable
[ ] you used only one pc, which can't provide reliable results
[ ] Windows *** always makes trouble, better is Windows ***
[ ] your testing approach does not meet scientific standards
[ ] your testing approach is much too sophisticated compared to normal practise
[ ] your testing approach is perfect, but for shuffle chess only
[ ] nobody has ever done it like this
[ ] this has already been done long before

***) may be chosen be individual taste

--------------------------------

:o))

Regards,
M.Scheidl



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