Author: Fernando Villegas
Date: 09:28:23 06/02/04
Dear all: After meditating long in the fact that life cannot be fulfilled if you does not share your expertise in the field you handle best in order to keep the flame burning, I have decided to give for free, not fees asked, a complete course about how to be, to become or stay being a Patzer. My background guarantee full succes. I have been playing since 1977 with chess computer first, then against chess programs, but to this day my record is, in average, -taking into account games against old Fidelity 7 and games against current Junior 8- a succesful score of less than assured mediocrity: one win and/or one draw every ten games. I have lost the papers with my defeats agains computers that barely had 50 moves in his opening book and calculated perhaps 5 plys after ten minutes, but I can show games lost against Constellation 3.6 and Champion Chess Challenger, both machines lot less strong than 1800 Fide Elo. Respect programs, my output is even better: in my last 50 or so games against top commercial programs, freeware programs, obsolete programs and definitely preposterous programs I have got a perfect score of 0 wins and 50 defeats. Generally speaking my course considers all parts of the chess game: a) how to get out of the drawer the dedicated unit or how to intall and put into action the software b) how to yell to any other person in home that you are a genius prepared to challenge a monster and so they must keep silent and quiet c) the opening: how to traspose and mistake order of movements in 10 different opennings with the purpose to be already lost not long after move number 10. d) middle game: Exercizes of the kind "What? That knight could also jump backward? Damn, I lost a piece..." c) ending: the course guarantee you will never get into this phase of the game. Professor Ferdinand
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