Author: Dann Corbit
Date: 15:37:50 02/22/99
Go up one level in this thread
On February 22, 1999 at 18:08:41, Jay Rinde wrote: >You can just say "I disagree" and get slammed for a personal attack. This can be >said to be a personal attack! When a person takes the time to post he might feel >his effort is wasted when his post is dumped. Sometimes the personal attack is >in the eyes of the beholder. I won't leave CCC, but this is my last post. I do >not like to be accused of a personal attack when one was NOT MADE and one was >not intended. I just disagreed. How? You will never know, the post was busted. Actually, I am often surprised when my posts do make it through. I will not be surprised if some of them get clipped from time to time. But if someone tosses out my post, what harm is there in that? I can always repost the same message on r.g.c.c. without any fear of removal. I think that (personally) I will not leave because I feel I have been slighted or insulted by some other person or moderator. As long as there is something left to learn, there is no reason to leave. I think that (for the most part) the only person who can bring an insult upon me is myself. If Sean rails against me in r.g.c.c. does it hurt my feelings? Not at all. And if some intelligent person has something bad to say, then maybe I had better listen. When we receive counsel from another person, there are several possibilities. 1. The original counsel was misdirected because I did not mean the post in the way it was perceived. In such a case, I have several ways to benefit myself. * First, I can make my posts less ambiguous in the future, avoiding misunderstandings. I can put in a smiley when I am just trying to be funny. I can clarify something that might be misunderstood. * Second, I can benefit from good advice in general. If the communication told me to be less insulting, then I can try to be less insulting. It's a good idea isn't it? Whether or not I meant to be insulting, I can apply the saying to my own benefit. * Third, I can use the situation as an opportunity to clarify my position. I can explain what I really meant and apologize for any offense taken. 2. The original counsel was correct, but I felt justified in my remarks. * First, I can rethink what I had to say. Why did the moderators object? Would the matter have been better handled by private email? Is it really me who is in the wrong and not the post I was responding to? Could I have offered constructive criticism rather than some backhanded slam? * Second, I can clarify what I meant to say, or post a *completely new message* with the same intellectual content but *without* the poor treatment. After all, we should always treat each other with dignity whenever possible. Or I could post a follow-up to the moderator only to communicate why I said what I did in the manner that I posed. 3. I may have been way off-base. Perhaps I was totally in the wrong. * This is an excellent opportunity to apologize. I should be glad that my post was lifted. To harshly criticise someone wrongly is something any of us should be deeply embarassed about if we engage in it. * Perhaps the bouncing of my post is a good opportunity to re-read what the original poster said. I have (on several occasions) misunderstood a post I was responding to. In fact, I suspect that anyone who has made at least twenty responses has done the same. In short, every bounced post is an opportunity to improve.
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