Author: Joseph M. Melillo
Date: 11:51:49 12/29/99
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On December 29, 1999 at 11:03:14, Fernando Villegas wrote: >People of the maths and comp. departments of an important university in my >country are developing a chess program that they want to be based entirely in a >kind of human algorithm, more or less in the path suggested with lot of words >and few facts -so far as it is known- by Botvinnik. And this people, knowing my >old relation with this field and being pal of one of those guys from times in >the college, asked me to be the source of his human-recognition-pattern for >playing chess. >The result of his endeavor has been named, as a token of modesty, Moron 1,0. The >features of this new, revolutionary program based in my knowledge and >recognition pattern are the following: >Opening: >a) The program knows by name something like two dozen famous openings and know >the first 5 or 6 moves for each side of around half a dozen. And it does not >understand a shit of any. >b) He always gets to be pathetically cramped or almost lost at the end of this >phase of the game >c) Every novelty he find in the opening is a instructive example of mistakes >known since 1845. > >Middle game: >a) Moron 1,0 has a perfect understanding of forks as much he fall in almost >every one available for the oposition. >b) He knows the value of preserving bishops and scarcely move his queen bishop >until the end of the game. >c) He performs deep calculations always refuted by an alternative move in ply >two that he missed completely. >d) He knows he must not put his Queen in unnecessary danger and to do so is all >the time in safety hiding behind an isolated pawn. >e) Very enterprising with his knights, although sometimes the goes “one square >too far” and are lost to a simple pawn. Then he comments: “positional >sacrifice” > >Endings: >a) Moron knows everything about pawn races, so yours go very fast from the board >to the box. >b) King oposition: What? >C) square rule: I beg you pardon? >d) sharp activation of he King: from being static all the time, if he ever gets >there he put his hands up and surrender. > >Anybody interested in downloading it? Yes, yes, yes. I'm so tired of being whipped by humorless silicon. Will there be an add-on database of blunders for the program to quickly access? Then I can beat Moron as fast as it can retrieve and play a classic blunder (assuming, of course, that I recognize the error). Perhaps the next version can feature an opening line I've toyed with for years: Moron Human 1. e2-e4 e7-e5 2. e1-e2!!! d7-d6 (a conservative but prudent response that protects the black king pawn from the white king's anticipated onslaught) This opening gives Moron's king dangerous end-game like powers at an early stage of the contest. I've tentatively dubbed the line "King Attack". Better yet, let's see Moron, playing black against King Attack, lose in less than 10 moves; and while you're at it, include some audio files that sincerely praise the human's brilliant strategy. At last there's hope for those of us who like chess but lack any real talent for the game. Given progress in computer technology, we'll all seem like putzers soon enough, anyway.
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