Author: Enrique Irazoqui
Date: 16:02:23 01/28/00
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On January 28, 2000 at 18:49:03, Dann Corbit wrote: >Now that Rebel Century has been mathmatically eliminated: > > "Charles Unruh Is Smarter Than I Am" > > The rain on the window forms in serpentine streaks > But the ice in my heart forms the ones on my cheeks. > The glacier of loss crushes inch at a time > A positional move, that was much too sublime. > > Stumbling forward in an ill-advised fight > But my sacrifice lead to a fork with his knight. > The mouse in his maze, tripped and stumbled right in > While the reclining Charles had a Cheshire Cat grin. > > My ignorance froze like a log in the sky > To tired to run or to hide or to cry. > The log was my king, now with face to the ground > Since everyone heard it, yes, it did make a sound. > > >BTW, Charles Unruh is probably better looking than I am too. >I am informed by a literary expert who has already perused this work, that it is >a sweaty monument of unfathomable lameness. >;-) Let's see... (what is one supposed to say in these cases without offending) In my humble opinion you didn't miss a career as a poet, although with some further refinement you may go far, the sooner the better. :) No, no. That was rude. Let's try again: in your poem there are new things and there are good things. The problem is that whatever is new is no good and what is good is not new. Uf! Better? :) Enrique
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